It gets crazy doesn't it?? Completely just jumps up and scares you at times! It's been a month since my last post and so much has happened! We spent a few days in Park City with my wonderful inlaws and had a very fun, much needed break from reality. The topic came up of what would it take to get us to move back up to SLC area, and we discussed various things that would have to happen in order for that to work. So when we got home I applied to a couple different jobs, one was a transfer request to one of the SLC/Utah Valley Macy's stores, and the other was an office job. I interviewed for both over the phone and got the transfer to Cottonwood Mall Macy's, there is no mall there any more, so now it's just Cottonwood Macy's! Then began the househunting, as CMM needs me to start in two weeks.. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! OIY! So up we ran to the SLC area to hunt for a place we could call home. Todd and I both have similar ideas as to what is important to have in a home we live in.... and you would think that makes it easier to find a home,,, well it doesn't! The cost of living up in Utah is a lot higher than the cost of living in Vegas..... right now we are in a 3000 sq ft home and paying $1200 a month. This is a HUGE house and fits our family rather well when we are all together!, although it is not very often we have all the kids here at the same time, it's nice to know we can!!!! Well the homes we looked at in SLC were half the size or smaller and the same amount of money or higher! It's hard to make the transition when you are used to one thing and looking at something totally different!! UGH!
We found one though,, that we both like,,, no love!! and are excited to get into it. It is about 1000 sq ft smaller than what we have now, so downsizing is a must!!! *wish it was so easy to downsize my pants!* So between packing and working and hunting down boxes, and doing a fundraiser for my hubsters kidney transplant, life has run away from me and I have lost all track of time.
Throughout this entire process I have tried to hang onto the good habits I have worked on developing with my eating. And for the most part have been able to maintain my weight loss,, until this last week! You can't take a recovering alcoholic into a bar and say "sit and drink water and watch me enjoy what you loved the most not so long ago!" Same with a food addict. The difference is,, one NEEDS food to live! You can live withOUT alcohol believe it or not!, haha..So I have been eating on the go constantly. Grabbing something to munch on on the way to work, and eating as I pack... unfortunately these food choices have gone from celery, carrots, and other delicious nutrition options to over processed, desperately lacking any nutritional value, JUNK FOOD! We are trying to use the food we have on hand so we aren't wasting money on groceries, as we are only going to be here for a few more days.... that only makes it harder, once you run out of the fresh stuff. I need to get back on track,,, and just toss the junk that is in my house.... so the plan this week,, is to dejunk my house, and my kitchen and lighten our load!!
I ate an apple on my way into work yesterday, and I could almost hear my body say " OH THANK HEAVENS!!!!"
Must spend this week remembering proccessed food BAD,, whole food GOOD!!!!! One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, breath,,,,,, in and out, over and over,,,, repeat! And above all remember,, You are not a failure,, you are human,, mistakes are expected and to be forgiven,,,, learn and move on!
Monday, August 18, 2014
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Check in Sunday!
I have grown to hate my days off!! Only because I have to actually put in the effort to get my steps in.... ugh.
Yesterday was hard... I think I only did about 4000 steps.... YUCK YUCK YUCK! Oh well,,,,
I stepped on the scale this morning and here's the results.....
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Yesterday was hard... I think I only did about 4000 steps.... YUCK YUCK YUCK! Oh well,,,,
I stepped on the scale this morning and here's the results.....
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When I officially started I weighed in at 267.3 on June 22 the very end of the line!, .. Almost a month later I am at 248.1
Yes I am more than thrilled with those results!!!! I am sooooo freaking close to that 20 lbs gone mark I can taste it,, and it's even calorie free!!!!
I am going to step it up a notch this week as I only work three days and then we are headed up north for 5, so I am packing my workout clothes, walking shoes, swim suit, and my food. I am going to stroll park city and investigate the gorgeous landscape!! So excited!!!!
This week I pulled out my dehydrator and dehydrated apples, pineapples and mangos,,, strawberries are next,, I love to munch while I drive and that is a MAJOR set back! so I planned ahead and will put single serving baggies within arms reach for me! No added sugars, phosphates, or crap! Just pure wholesome fruit turned into crunchy snacks!! Yummmmmmm.
Here's hoping I come back next Sunday down at least another two pounds!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
My now pic,,,,,
First off let me say, I renamed the blog,,, the best me I can be, because that is my ultimate goal,, that should be all of ours!,, not to be skinny, or thin, or whatever society thinks we should be,, but to be the BEST ME I CAN BE!!! For me,, that happens to include weight loss.
ok here goes nothing,.... here is a pic of me when our oldest boy left on his mission
There I am,,, doing my walking dvd that my mum sent me! I did a whole mile that day! YUCK YUCK YUCK!!! I used to run 5k races,,, now I can't run a mile! LOL Pathetic how easy it is to let oneself go!
day three I think,,,
and today.....
ok here goes nothing,.... here is a pic of me when our oldest boy left on his mission
I'm the one in the orange jacket. I look like a pumpkin. :-/
I weighed about 250 here. and since then I avoided the camera,,,,
I dont think I have a pic of me at my most recent heaviest.... oh wait,, I found one that I had my hubby take on like day three of this journey,.... here it is,,, YUCK!
day three I think,,, and today.....
This is me three weeks later,, boy I am really putting myself out there,,, I want to see the changes! in this pick I am down 17 lbs, (I'm pulling my shirt tight behind my back because let's face it,, the secret is out already, no delusions here!)
My goal is to surprise my son when he gets home from his mission December 2015 with a huge weight loss!! I think I'm well on my way.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
The most important meal of the day
In highschool I don't think I ever ate breakfast. Less eating meant better body right?? that's what "society" would like us to think, and why so many people, not just girls have eating disorders. I have made breakfast part of my morning routine,,, When I say morning I mean like 3-4 am morning. AND I absolutely love this recipe I found..., and yes it sounds disgusting but Ohhhh eeeeM Geeeee it is soooo good!
Refrigerator Oatmeal:
1/2 c oats
1/2 milk,,, I use almond milk
1 single serving of greek yogurt
PB2 to taste or
empty but not scrapped clean peanut butter jar
1 c frozen fruit of choice.
mix it all together either in a container with a lid or in the PB jar,, put the lid on and put it in the fridge overnight. All those yummy oats will soak up the liquid and thicken up soooo good! I give it a quick stir in the am and enjoy.
You can put whatever you want in it, cinnamon, and honey, different flavors of greek yogurt... my current favorite is Chocolate covered strawberrys greek yogurt,, yes I put peanut butter powder in it still.. I use the powder because it cuts the fat and sugar down. But let me tell you,,, scrapping down the sides of a pb jar and getting that bit of creamy pb goodness,, yummmmmmmmm
Give it a try and let me know what you think!
Refrigerator Oatmeal:
1/2 c oats
1/2 milk,,, I use almond milk
1 single serving of greek yogurt
PB2 to taste or
empty but not scrapped clean peanut butter jar
1 c frozen fruit of choice.
mix it all together either in a container with a lid or in the PB jar,, put the lid on and put it in the fridge overnight. All those yummy oats will soak up the liquid and thicken up soooo good! I give it a quick stir in the am and enjoy.
You can put whatever you want in it, cinnamon, and honey, different flavors of greek yogurt... my current favorite is Chocolate covered strawberrys greek yogurt,, yes I put peanut butter powder in it still.. I use the powder because it cuts the fat and sugar down. But let me tell you,,, scrapping down the sides of a pb jar and getting that bit of creamy pb goodness,, yummmmmmmmm
Give it a try and let me know what you think!
HERE GOES NOTHIN'!
Haha, so I have decided to start a blog as I begin yet again, a new
chapter of my life, the never ending weight loss battle. I guess I
really shouldn't complain, I have a strong testimony of where I come
from, why I am here, and what my mission is in life. My life long
battle will always be my weight it seems. Oh I've done weight watchers
and been sucessful, until I stopped, I've done Jenny Craig, BLAH!, I've
done diet pills, dr's aids and yep,, they all work, right until I stop.
Go figure!
So what has changed this go round you ask? My inspiration. My frustration. Let's start with my frustration, weight loss surgery. I have had a few close friends and family have various forms of this surgery done. That is their choice. Their decision. And good for them!! It isn't always successful though. Although many people say it's the easy way out, it is hard work. I have watched them struggle with not being able to eat ANYTHING, to throwing up, to sharing successes over NOT throwing up when eating something bland. This is a decision that is not one I can make in good conscience.
There is no one to blame but me for the size I am, or was,, (I'm down 17 lbs in 3 weeks), but me. It's not God's fault, it's not my parents fault, its not the fault of my husbands kidney disease. No one is shoving the ice cream or chips or chocolate,, oh I miss good canadian chocolate, down my throat. I do it.. I am a food addict. I eat when I'm hungry, duh, when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm mad,,, nope that's when I clean,,, I'm not mad very often haha, when I'm frustrated, when I'm bored, when I'm awake,, yea let's go with that! When I'm awake! And I honestly thought I was not eating that bad,, after all peanut butter is protein, honey is natural and a tortilla is not as bad as bread... yes this was my staple. Between working and running back and forth to St George, this is what I ate 90 % of the time.
I was sooo unhappy. My husband could see it, and he tried to help, he would literally take the knife out of my hand and push me out of the kitchen and make me something like a freaking salad,, which takes way too much effort to eat when you are exhausted by the way. I didn't care that he saw it. He would tell me things like "you're beautiful, I love you, not your body, You amaze me, blah bblah blah."
He meant every last one of them too!! He really did. But I didn't love myself... and until I loved myself no amount of verbal or physical love would help me.
In walks my parentals for a much needed visit... sorry Mum, I'm putting this out there....
AMAZEBALLS! Seriously, they are both in their late 60's and have lost a combined total of 165 lbs!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I don't think my parents have ever set foot in a gym!! WTH????? Mum and I would talk,and visit, and bless her, she never once mentioned my weight, and how much I had gained. I was embarrassed to be out in public with them. I looked frumpy and gross. And I felt just as bad. She did ask me one day how much I weighed as I was getting into a pool, and I told her,,, hushedly, 263 lbs..... People, lets put that into perspective, I am only 5 foot 1, on a GOOD DAY!! weighing 263, is NEVER A GOOD DAY!!!! I was a freaking pumpkin, a bowling ball even!! Mum just smiled and told me I would get there when I was ready!
They headed home, and I stepped on the scale,,, WTH 267.something.... Can't blame it on company,, they ate right! I immediately sent my mum a message on facebook saying SHI* just got real!! HELP ME!!!
Since then I have been scouring the internet looking for what seems to be healthy recipes, and fun ways to incorporate foods like quinoa and chia seeds into my diet.
I have a new best friend,,, 2 actually, and they are apps on my iphone,,, the first is called my fitness pal, OMGEEEE I love it!!! I can scan a barcode on whatever I am eating and it inputs all the info for me! It keeps track of my calories and how many I should eat each day and tells me what I will weigh if I eat like that for the next 5 weeks... AWESOMENESS!!
The 2nd one is called pacer, this one counts my steps and syncs with my fitness pal. If I walk far enough I get extra calories that day,, enough for a treat.. (my favorite right now is frozen blueberries with a little redi whip on top and stirred together! YUMMMM)
I check in with my mum every sunday, because she is awesome and doesn't judge me when I slip and cheers me on with my successes!!!!!
SERIOUSLY 17 lbs in 3 weeks,,, OH that skinny girl is right at the edge of my skin just waiting to come out!!! I should rename this blog the Healthy Girl,, but I can shut the skinny girl up with chocolate and I still lose weight, as long as I do appropriate rations!
So I am going to use this like a diary or journal of sorts. I have so much going on in my life, like the rest of y'all, that sometimes, I just need to sit and think... and here I will do that... I will post pics monthly, *eye rolling* can't believe I just said that, and I will hopefully find recipes and what not to share with those who would like to join me on this journey!
COME ON,, JOIN ME,,, IT'S GONNA BE A HELLOFA RIDE!!!!!!!
So what has changed this go round you ask? My inspiration. My frustration. Let's start with my frustration, weight loss surgery. I have had a few close friends and family have various forms of this surgery done. That is their choice. Their decision. And good for them!! It isn't always successful though. Although many people say it's the easy way out, it is hard work. I have watched them struggle with not being able to eat ANYTHING, to throwing up, to sharing successes over NOT throwing up when eating something bland. This is a decision that is not one I can make in good conscience.
There is no one to blame but me for the size I am, or was,, (I'm down 17 lbs in 3 weeks), but me. It's not God's fault, it's not my parents fault, its not the fault of my husbands kidney disease. No one is shoving the ice cream or chips or chocolate,, oh I miss good canadian chocolate, down my throat. I do it.. I am a food addict. I eat when I'm hungry, duh, when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm mad,,, nope that's when I clean,,, I'm not mad very often haha, when I'm frustrated, when I'm bored, when I'm awake,, yea let's go with that! When I'm awake! And I honestly thought I was not eating that bad,, after all peanut butter is protein, honey is natural and a tortilla is not as bad as bread... yes this was my staple. Between working and running back and forth to St George, this is what I ate 90 % of the time.
I was sooo unhappy. My husband could see it, and he tried to help, he would literally take the knife out of my hand and push me out of the kitchen and make me something like a freaking salad,, which takes way too much effort to eat when you are exhausted by the way. I didn't care that he saw it. He would tell me things like "you're beautiful, I love you, not your body, You amaze me, blah bblah blah."
He meant every last one of them too!! He really did. But I didn't love myself... and until I loved myself no amount of verbal or physical love would help me.
In walks my parentals for a much needed visit... sorry Mum, I'm putting this out there....
AMAZEBALLS! Seriously, they are both in their late 60's and have lost a combined total of 165 lbs!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I don't think my parents have ever set foot in a gym!! WTH????? Mum and I would talk,and visit, and bless her, she never once mentioned my weight, and how much I had gained. I was embarrassed to be out in public with them. I looked frumpy and gross. And I felt just as bad. She did ask me one day how much I weighed as I was getting into a pool, and I told her,,, hushedly, 263 lbs..... People, lets put that into perspective, I am only 5 foot 1, on a GOOD DAY!! weighing 263, is NEVER A GOOD DAY!!!! I was a freaking pumpkin, a bowling ball even!! Mum just smiled and told me I would get there when I was ready!
They headed home, and I stepped on the scale,,, WTH 267.something.... Can't blame it on company,, they ate right! I immediately sent my mum a message on facebook saying SHI* just got real!! HELP ME!!!
Since then I have been scouring the internet looking for what seems to be healthy recipes, and fun ways to incorporate foods like quinoa and chia seeds into my diet.
I have a new best friend,,, 2 actually, and they are apps on my iphone,,, the first is called my fitness pal, OMGEEEE I love it!!! I can scan a barcode on whatever I am eating and it inputs all the info for me! It keeps track of my calories and how many I should eat each day and tells me what I will weigh if I eat like that for the next 5 weeks... AWESOMENESS!!
The 2nd one is called pacer, this one counts my steps and syncs with my fitness pal. If I walk far enough I get extra calories that day,, enough for a treat.. (my favorite right now is frozen blueberries with a little redi whip on top and stirred together! YUMMMM)
I check in with my mum every sunday, because she is awesome and doesn't judge me when I slip and cheers me on with my successes!!!!!
SERIOUSLY 17 lbs in 3 weeks,,, OH that skinny girl is right at the edge of my skin just waiting to come out!!! I should rename this blog the Healthy Girl,, but I can shut the skinny girl up with chocolate and I still lose weight, as long as I do appropriate rations!
So I am going to use this like a diary or journal of sorts. I have so much going on in my life, like the rest of y'all, that sometimes, I just need to sit and think... and here I will do that... I will post pics monthly, *eye rolling* can't believe I just said that, and I will hopefully find recipes and what not to share with those who would like to join me on this journey!
COME ON,, JOIN ME,,, IT'S GONNA BE A HELLOFA RIDE!!!!!!!
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